I realize, as I do every time I log on, that I only blog when I am depressed. Or upset. Or just feeling strange.
Anyway, about 22 days ago, I met this wonderful guy. We get along so well and he is so freaking romantic it is adorable. He makes me food when I am hungry, encourages me to be my best, and I honestly think that all of this awesomeness is making me fall for him. Hard. I have never felt this way before, no matter how cliche that may sound, and I am not quite sure this will even last, but almost every fiber of my being is hoping that it will. This is not just a relationship for the hell of being in one, this guy actually makes me feel like myself and like he is himself all the time with me. There are no lies, no secrets, and we are both much too nice to each other, if only because we care.
I was searching on his facebook page (oh how I am hating facebook lately) and I noticed he had a date with a girl just a month before he first asked me out. Is it just me and my lack of relationship knowledge, or is that pretty soon? He keeps saying that I am amazing and how it is so strangely wonderful that he can just be himself around me and I just adore him all the same. He also was engaged before, and has had many girls for a year or so after they broke it off. I understand that now he is different. I am young and naive though, and I don't want to be taken advantage though. So. Should I stay with him and believe what my heart believes, or should I go with what my mind says?
My heart and mind have always been on conflicting sides, my heart just falling so quickly for people, and my mind telling me every flaw, every downfall, every possible way it could go wrong. I am so sick of listening to what my mind tells me. I know that I just don't want to be hurt, again, but really, what harm is there in just being with somebody who makes me happy?
On a completely unrelated topic, somewhat, I wonder who I am turning into lately. My younger self would hate me, but my current self is enjoying every minute of my personality lately. Though I could do without the sudden and inexplicable bouts of depression. Oh well.
Farewell everyone, my laptop is going to die soon and I left my charger at my friend's house.
